Ed and Alice DeCosta were inspired to begin fostering after witnessing abuse in the 1980s.
by Andrew O'Brien | Staff Writer
Alice DeCosta was living in Boston with her five children in the 1980s. She was visiting her friend next door while her own children were playing upstairs in one of the bedrooms. Suddenly, everything got quiet.
DeCosta headed upstairs to find the children kneeling in front of the window, looking outside into the adjacent yard. The girls were crying, watching, while the neighbors physically abused their two kids. This moment changed DeCosta's life forever.
DeCosta, 60, and her husband, Ed, 72, began foster parenting in 1990, and have since house approximately 75 foster children. The DeCostas moved in 2005 to Palm Coast and got re-licenses, since the licensing is different from state to state.
DeCosta explained the difference between two different types of foster children: traditional and therapeutic. Mmost of the time, the therapeutic children have severe behavior issues or need medication, and it's tough for them to make it in a traditional home.
"We've always done therapeutic fostering," Alice DeCosta said. "I'm always up for a challenge, and they were the ones that always needed the help. ... A lot of these kids feel dirty, and they don't trust anyone, that's one of the biggest things: to earn their trust."
Florida state laws limit therapeutic foster parents to no more than two children in the house and one time, while parents housing traditional foster children may be allowed to take in up to six, depending on how many biological children are in the home already. DeCosta said foster chidren can remain in a particular home for any amount of time, ranging from one week to five years, up until the release age of 18.
DeCosta tries to keep things as normal as possible for the foster children during their stay. She said the children have gone through so much hardship already, and they don't need disruptions.
"You do whatever you can do and hope that it works out for them," she said. "Eventually, as time goes on, something will click with them, and they'll do well."
The DeCostas welcomed their first foster child in 1990. Over time, they became close friends with that child's stepmother. DeCosta said she worked closely with the child's family to take her back. To this day, DeCosta remains in contact with the stepmother, who lives in Virginia.
Meanwhile, Radina, one of Alice and Ed's daughters, has expressed interest in beginning to become a foster parent, too. DeCosta said her daughter, who now lives in Fort Lauderdale, went to college to become a social worker.
"It brings joy to my heart that she would want to reach out and help other kids after having so many different kids in the house, having to share her toys and share her parents," DeCosta said.
And while Radina and her husband continue the training to become foster parents, Alice and Ed continue to do their part.
They just took in another child March 15. They are now foster parents to a boy and a girl in their home.
"This is what God wanted us to do, so this is what we do," DeCosta said. "We just do the best we can, and hopefully, it works out."
The Life Center, located at 4882 Palm Coast Parkway N.W., will host a free informational meeting from 7 to 8:30 p.m. Friday, March 26. The event will feature state-provided foster care packets, a question-and-answer session and free coffee and refreshments.
Contact Andrew O'Brien at andrew@palmcoastobserver.com.
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